Question: I met my current boyfriend about a year ago, at a time that I really wasn’t looking for anyone. I had just broken up with a boy I was with for two years, and was ready to live it up. When I met my current boyfriend everything changed and we fell in love. He had never had a girlfriend before me, but he never was intimidated by my past.
It wasn’t until 7 months into the relationship that I started sleep talking. By this time we had already been on vacations together, and fallen asleep multiple times together. Well apparently I dozed off that night and said I was still in love with my ex boyfriend. I can assure you I am not, the day this happened I was talking with a friend about that relationship and how happy I am now compared to then. I didnt even know I said it. He just told me I said some one else’s name in my sleep and I didn’t know what name it was.Obviously this statement hurt my boyfriend and stressed me out. I’m always afraid of saying it, and this fear has had me say it about 20 times since September. Now my boyfriend is upset, and believes my subconscious is telling him I want some one else. This is not true at all, and I can’t control the ridiculous things I say in my sleep.

Answer: Hi Becky, I can empathize with your frustration! There are just so many absurd things we say in our sleep though (just see Sleep Talkin’ Man) that it’s hard to say any of it is any veritable conscious or unconscious desires. I expect it to be more from habit than anything (like the automaton nature of sleepwalking). You were with your previous boyfriend for 2 years, and it is understandable that those habits would have formed. Maybe your boyfriend would feel better if he knew some about the nature of sleepwalking.In any case, I wish you all the best in convincing him of your honesty through your actions, and hope for a long and loving relationship!

Thanks for your question and good luck,