Question: To cut the story short i was with my boyfriend the father of two teenage children for 19 yrs. When he found out he had lung cancer we were going through a relationship breakdown whereas he was seeing someone else and had got her pregnant and although i found out about this and he still wanted me to stay with him i could not handle it he found out he had cancer and was having treatment i went with him and held his hand after radio & chemo but eventually left. he was excited about having this baby and he sacrificed our relationship so the girl kept the baby as she was threatening to put baby when born in a home etc,
When he eventually died i was devastated and guilty as i just walked away and did not support him during his last weeks but made sure our children did. anyway a while after his funeral i had a dream that i was in my old bedroom in my mum’s house a place i have not lived in for over 19yrs and i was under the covers and felt someone lie on top of me i tried to turn my head to see and it was my ex partner lying naked on top of me.He would not let me turn my head around to him and was pushing my head down into the pillow to stop me from turning around i recall saying please phil let me get up i just need to go to the toilet but he would not let me go.I managed to squeeze out from under him and fell on the floor by the bed with the duvet tangled up in my ankles and crawling on all fours to the door to the bedroom is said its okay phil i will come back and turned and saw him coming off the bed towards me, it fid scare me! and he was naked i said again i am only going to the toilet and open the door.My mums toilet is opposite the bedroom and i recall going in there and sitting on the toilet and when i returned well i had woke up, what does this mean,the thing is i remember it so clearly when normally i dont remember dreams it was more like i was awake and drifting in and out of sleep.I wonder if he hated me if i could of done more in the relationship. Is there something wrong with me but know that i loved him still do and dont think i could love another.
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