Since about the age of twelve or thirteen I have had problems waking up on time for school, I was always getting in trouble for being late to school and I never found it easy to wake up on time. During the summer my sleeping patterns would always revert to pattern of going to sleep around 4-5am and waking up some time in the afternoon, after about 8 hours on my own, with no aid from alarms and feeling refreshed. It led to numerous problems in high school, ending in failing most of my morning classes. I think since grade 6 I managed to have one solid month of being able to go to sleep and wake up on time..Well I am now twenty three. I work a full time job and my hours are *supposed* to be 7-5, and I have ALWAYS found it hard to wake up and thankfully I am incredibly good at what I do and my boss allows it to “slide”, even though he does not like it. The past 6 months it has gotten incredibly bad, to the point where I get into work around 12-2pm because I cannot fall into a “proper” sleep cycle. I have tried everything, melatonin, warm milk, sleeping pills.. My mind is so alert and racing at night, even if I have been sleep deprived and awake for 30+ hoursI have always said that if I am allowed to sleep as I wish, I fall asleep between 5-6am and wake up at 12-2pm, without issue, without aid, feeling fully refreshed and ready for the day – even before I stumbled onto this DSPS business.To make matters worse, even sleep depriving myself does not work. I awoke yesterday at 1pm after sleeping for 16! yes 16 hours because I stayed up for an entire day and went to bed at 9pm after 34 hours of being awake – fell asleep since I was incredibly tired, yet I continued to sleep. I have multiple alarms set and I ALWAYS sleep through them, I’ll even turn them off in a sleepy dream daze without even consciously noticing. Often I will see the time and correlate it to something in my dream: ie. 6:15am becomes a 6 minute and 15 second lap time in the F1 race I am participating in in my dreams (lol)I fall
asleep best during day light, more so as the sun is beginning to rise. I can fall asleep at any time during the day, irregardless of when I last woke. Naps don’t exist for me, if I fall asleep during the day I will sleep for a minimum of three hours. Any time I try to fall asleep at night I often end up laying there awake for what seems forever with my mind racing.I am completely at my wits end and I don’t know what to do. I cant keep pulling 36 hour days in order to be at work for 7.. it just kills me mentally and physically, yet even if I do fall asleep at a normal hour and get a full rest I still feel like a zombie all day with the ability to fall asleep almost instantaneously. It is completely affecting my life and I fear losing my job. It depresses the heck out of me and causes suicidal thoughts because I am completely unable to “snap out” of this. It messes with my eating habits too, because when I wake up late I do not have time to make a breakfast or a lunch and I often end up just having dinner. I have managed at times to restore some semblance of a normal sleep pattern, however the weekend comes and I sleep until noon, and then by sunday night I am so alert that I just cannot fall asleep. Add to this the fact that alarms do nothing for me and its a real real huge problem. Even when I do manage to ‘normalize’ my schedule it does not last for very long.. I thought perhaps some of this was due to smoking pot causing my drowsiness during the day and other issues, but as Ive learned over the past two months being completely drug free and sober, it was not the problem and in fact actually HELPED me to sleep closer to a ‘normal’ time. However it is not the answer and I am glad to have quit that nonsense.I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to give in and accept this pattern of sleep as it completely limits your lifestyle.. but as of right now I have absolutely no stability in my life and its seeming to be my only option, accept it and work nights.
DSPS Is Ruining My Life