Question: One night a few weeks ago, I had a seriously crazy dream that I remember vividly. I was on a cruise with my fellow dorm-mates. My cabin was small and messy, with clothes strewn about the luxury bed. The lights were off, with the only light emanating from the hallway. Suddenly, I could hear someone sprinting down the hallway. It appeared to be my friend, who then yelled at me, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WE WERE SUPPOSED TO EVACUATE A LONG TIME AGO!!” He then told me to pack, but I was ahead of the game. I was rushing frantically, stuffing my bag with all things I deemed important, including a juicebox and–for some reason, I thought this was of the utmost importance–my phone charger. My friend had already left, leaving me to be the only one on the ship. I panicked, headed towards the edge of the ship, and saw the most bizarre evacuation unfold. People were riding giant jet ski-sized juice boxes–yes, juice boxes–down the shoreline. I remember thinking about how beautiful the bright golden sunset had looked, until my friends shouted at me, “GET TO THE JUICE BOXES!” I scrambled up onto my berry-flavored purple juicebox and started skimming along the coast, attempting to catch up with the rest of the passengers. I remember hearing the sand beneath the behemoth juice box, and the wind in my hair as a sped along on my juice box steed. Once I reached the others at the end of the shore, everyone’s juicy sand-skimmers became normal hand-portable size. Everyone was enjoying their delicious drinks, so I looked at my now normal-sized juice box and decided to have a sip. Ready to savor the juice, I slurped the straw, anticipating the juicy berry deliciousness. I got some juice, then felt granules of sand hit my tongue. Disgustingly enough, more sand came with every sip. Frustrated, I threw my juice box down and started spitting the sand out of my mouth, and scraping my tongue. My friend came up to me, with his perfectly sand-free thirst-quencher, and said, “Sucks to your asthmar,” as if quoting Lord of the Flies. He then sipped his straw, gave me a look with raised eyebrows, and walked away. I will never look at juice boxes the same way again.

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