Question: I’m usually fine sleep-wise except for every once in a while, maybe once a month, I’ll stay up all night for no reason. I don’t really get it; I usually have no reason to stay up so late. Maybe it’s a challenge to myself.
Anyway. I’ve gotten maybe eight hours of sleep in the past three days and it’s weighing pretty heavy. I can trace this issue to several things – family issues, loneliness, school. But honestly, the reason doesn’t matter that much. I’m really tired but I’m almost certain I won’t go to bed earlier than midnight.I look like hell, my eyes were bloodshot today and I’ve been chewing my bottom lip and picking/biting my fingernails incessantly; it hurts to blink but it hurts to keep my eyes open. However, there isn’t really a significant loss of focus at school. My schoolwork quality remains roughly the same as ever. I do think I’m looking a bit fatigued.This morning after maybe four hours of sleep I woke up feeling worse than I had in a while and thinking I’ll be ‘damned if I let myself smile today’. The worst part is, I genuinely want to go to sleep, but for the past three days I just can’t. I think I could if someone was with me or if I was 100% certain that I would dream, but I’m not. I keep dreading the thought of waking up again and hating it, like this morning.Unfortunately, I’ve got a project due tomorrow which, predictably, I’ve procrastinated terribly on; I’ve got an excuse not to sleep, in other words. I usually manage to catch up on sleep on the weekends but I’m not sure if I can do it with the crazy amount of sleep I’ve already missed (over 16 hours, possibly).I guess I don’t have any advice on this, I was just trying to get it off my chest. I really wish I knew why I was so averse to sleeping; again, I want to sleep but I don’t want to go to sleep, per se, or wake up. Furthermore, I wish I knew why the unmotivated symptom isn’t present here. I’m normally a very unmotivated person and it’s strange that I’m not unfocused. I’m fifteen and in high school.